Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun

Regular readers of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun understand that it’s my fervent belief that the love between Dan and Serena transcends reality. Now that it appears that that relationship has gone the way of Bubble Tape and the other two Cinnamon Toast Crunch mascots, I’ve had to get used to Chuck and Blair as the premier Gossip Girl relationship. To quote Mr. Horse, no sir, I don’t like it.

However, comma, I had a conversation with a dear and treasured friend (who SHOULD be a dear and treasured reader, although I doubt she is, but she can allay all suspicion by leaving a comment) last night, and she took me to the mat pretty good over Dan and Serena being a sham relationship and Chuck and Blair being the real deal. So, in the interest of being a mature and open-minded adult, I’ll be viewing at least the next few episode through the lens of “Maybe Chuck and Blair Aren’t So Bad.” We’ll see what happens.

9:02 “Serena to Georgina? Quite a fall, even for you,” Blair goes. Sick burn!

Georgina is SO up to something. Why can’t Dan see that!

Does Dan shave his chest? That’s taking me right out of the narrative.

This scene with Vanessa, Serena, and Dan is sooooooo ridiculous! Teasing him without judgment? They should judge the &*#$ out of him!

There’s actually slime coming out of Vanessa’s phone when she talks to Scott. And what is it with these people and their fathers? Serena can’t admit that she wants to meet her dad. Neither can Scott. It’s like they’re conscious that they have to advance Gossip Girl plots.

9:06 “Carter isn’t like Chuck any more,” Serena goes. Neither is Chuck!

9:07 “You know I take my scotch neat,” Carter goes. What a jerk. I can watch 100 straight scenes of him getting slapped in the face. Please please please continue to be a jerk, Carter!

9:11 I do NOT like those shorts blair is wearing.

“An endless font of do-overs,” Blair goes. I love puns!

9:14 That’s not a joke that Serena just made. She would NEVER be in on any sort of secret society.

9:15 Timestamped! Timestamped! Timestamped! !his secretary is in big trouble.

9:17 Hey, the Nate subplot. If Nate isn’t involved with one of the real GG characters, he’s completely unmoored. He’s like Pluto.

This is why I don’t like the Chuck-Blair relationship. It’s based on gimmickry. Oh look, they have to bid against each other in the auction. How wacky! I bet they’ll figure out a way for Carter to have to bid on that dopey photo or something.

9:20 So, Ellen Page is reprising the Juno role in Juno on Rollerskates. That should be fun.

9:22 Tyra is using short puns with the petite models? I know earlier I said I love puns, but not like this!

9:25 Eeeew. Scott’s parents recycled the story of their actual dead son to get Lily and Rufus off the path? They’re giving Boston a bad name.

9:26 Serena would make a terrible poker player. And Carter would make a terrible boyfriend. Just watch.

I know that Blair is a high roller, but she’s 18. How does she have a favorite vintage of champagne?

And of course Chuck has a proxy bidder at this auction. You’re tossing lollipops, GG.

Why would Vanessa tell Dan that Scott is lying? Does she have any intention of telling Dan the second half of Scott’s lie? If so, party foul…

9:28 … Because OF COURSE Georgina is going to want to snoop around.

9:34 Ugh. Of course Nate would think kissing Bri in front of the photographers was a good idea. How tacky can you get?

Speaking of such things, what is that Mylar goody bag that Blair is wearing?

9:37 Good thing the photo that Chuck and Blair want is the first one on the block, so we can get this part of the plot over with.

9:40 Why, Scott! Why! Why! If they’re not gonna have him admit that he’s Rufus’s son, why not drag out the “Scott is skulking around weirdly” plot a little more? It’s the third damn episode, and now we’ve got some convoluted farce hanging over the rest of the season. I mean, MORE convoluted farce.

9:45 See what happens when we weave webs of deception, Serena? Our friends are compelled to destroy our boyfriend’s credibility to protect us. It’s like you’ve never wove a web of deception before. Good thing you’re so pretty.

9:49 Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of a Georgina v. the gang spat.

9:54 So is Scott gone? Does this mean the hope of having a GG ep in Boston is kiboshed?

“When it comes to an eye for an eye, Chuck is a man of the cloth.” Great line!

9:56 This whole “everyone on the show is related” thing is getting wearisome AND creepy.

9:58 Hellooooooo Bri Buckley.

And helloooooooooooooooo Georgina coming to the Hub of the Universe. Ding ding ding ding! Although calling Amtrak for information about trains? I know this is TV and we have to like, exposit things in a way we wouldn’t normally in real life. But the train? It combines the price of an airline ticket with the travel time of the bus. It’s the worst of both worlds!

Tags: Gossip Girl, running diary, TV

This entry was posted on Monday, September 28th, 2009 at 10:41 pm and is filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.