Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun

Awesome rock band? Check.

Booze? Check.

Chimp in skates? Check. The answer is yes.

Some things need to be shared immediately

H/t

So the posting has been sparse recently. Why, none of you may be wondering? Well, it’s because I’m lazy and uninspired, But also, it’s because I’ve been doing some wordsmithery for a much-anticipated side project that my buddy and I are working on. So I’m going ahead and warning you guys so I don’t have a guilty conscience when I don’t post for the next couple days. Although, I’ll probably put up another Gossip Girl post, and potentially a MIMIF, which really isn’t that different from my normal output. But whatever. So, you know, godspeed, Maverick. I’ll be back shortly.

I guess it’s becoming painfully apparent that architecture gets me riled up. Who knows why. I guess it’s because unlike other forms of art, architecture is something that we all have to engage and be exposed to every day. You can manage to go through your whole life and do a good job avoiding, say, Jo Baer’s Primary Light Group (please, for the love of God, if you don’t have a sense of humor and perspective, don’t click on this link. It will make you want to smash things!) But the building you work in? You come into contact with that architecture every day.

So, courtesy of Ezra Klein, we’ve got Travel+Leisure magazine’s list of the world’s ugliest buildings. I’m not going to repeat what EK said, suffice it to say that I agree with him. I will mention two things, though:

1) The Port Authority Bus Terminal is not on the list. Here’s a picture of its pretty side. That’s the right cross against this list’s credibility…

2) …and here’s the crippling uppercut: Frank Gehry’s Bilbao Guggenheim is on T+L’s list of the world’s coolest buildings. Regular readers of DD&U know how I feel about Frank Gehry’s work. It’s lame. And ugly.

Ugh. Why can’t people just appreciate things that look cool?

Hmm. A whole lot of Gossip Girl on DD&U recently. No apologies, though. The blog’s gonna do what the blog’s gonna do. If you think I have any control over the damn thing, well, I don’t want to alarm you, but you’re very sadly mistaken. Are you ready for a diary about a truly explosive ep? I hope so!

9:01 More Matt and Kim on the GG soundtrack. I’m very conflicted as to whether I like these guys. I can imagine the shouting vocals to be annoying in large doses. I’ll be sure to investigate and report back.

“Even though she is a Buckley,” goes Serena. Is this a political thing, or a social hierarchy thing? Is it wrong that I want my fictional characters to be as unabashedly leftist as me?

9:03 Did Dan say he was a terrible IM flirter? He’s a writer! That’s his medium!

9:05 B, still holding slavery against Bree. Pwn pwn pwn.

Oooh oooh oooh. Are Chuck and Bree going to align against Carter? How could I not have seen this coming?

“I know women. And none of us are that nice.” B is so wise.

9:07 Is anyone else uncomfortable with how much Jenny looms over Eric? I mean just physically. She looks like she’s 6′4″.

9:09 I never took Georgina to be boy crazy. Actually crazy, yes. But boy crazy?

9:14 I also never took Vanessa to be such a pushover. After all the accusations she tossed at Dan about not being himself, you think she’d stand up to Georgina a little more.

9:16 “I hate her and the tractor she rode in on.” I’m now convinced. Blair has different (and better) writers.

What is Lily wearing on her finger? Not the engagement ring. The faberge egg thing.

9:18 Hey, now Dan thinks Vanessa is a crazy person. Just not a puppet being manipulated by a crazy person.

“I’m not in love with you, you moron.” Good for you, Vanessa. You have to be direct with this guy.

9:21 Rufus should definitely get up and play “You’re So Yesterday” at the reception.

9:26 “I’m sorry. My family is in investment banking. They’re broke.” I LOLed at that one.

“Amaelia, new mean girls, go to the garden, get to work.” A rare zinger from Serena. This is a good ep.

I like how the creepy guy in the park checks out Georgina as she walks out of frame. Nice detail.

9:34 Dorota looks EXACTLY like all the ladies that show up to Polish mass at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel in the Bizonne. Excellent attention to detail on the part of the costume designers.

9:37 I like the color of Dan’s shirt.

9:40 Like, seriously? This is how you know GG is complete fiction, because a long time ago, someone would have smashed Georgina. Right in her face.

9:48 Are Lily and Rufus going to stay together because of a kid? Isn’t that like, a universally discouraged idea?

9:52 Doesn’t Kim Gordon look almost exactly like Serena will look in 35 years? If she’s lucky?

9:55 I LOVE Chuck’s vest.

9:56 Thanks, Bree, for giving us all another reason to hate Texas. And good for Nate for showing some backbone!

9:57 You can tell these kids are 18 and 19 because they’re just walking around like there’s not a Sonic Youth live show going on all around them.

9:59 W/r/t the preview: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My buddy Reeves over at Meanderings does this thing from time to time called Aural Stories. Long story short, he highlights songs that have a strong narrative element. Actually, that was a short story to begin with. Here’s a quick one about Weezy. It’s a neat idea, so I’m promoting it. But with a twist. I’m going to talk about a song that USED to have a strong narrative element.

Regular readers of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun know that I’m a demo fiend. If the production values aren’t real good, if the song was recorded in a hotel room on the European tour, or if most of the lyrics are completely different, then I want it. I gotta have it! I just find it fascinating to see the creative process in action.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you come to discover that the demo is, in fact, better than the track that makes it onto the album. Brand New’s “Untitled 09,” from the Fight Off Your Demons samizdat, is a classic example. Here’s the demo . . .

. . . which is like, one of my favorite Brand New tunes. Now listen to “The Archers’ Bows Have Broken,” from 2006’s The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me, and keep an ear out for the one bit that they pulled out of the demo.

Great song, indeed. But . . . the demo was better!

Which leads me to Dashboard Confessional’s “Rooftops and Invitations.” It’s on Dusk and Summer. Listen to a little live rendition:

Great tune, right? I’ve felt that way for years. Then, one day, I got a link from Chris Carrabba’s Twitter feed about a couple “Rooftops and Invitations” demos. Here’s the most polished version.

Notice how different it is? And like, better?

Firstly, the album version’s hook

She just might get you lost
And she just might leave you torn
But she just might save your soul
If she gets you and she, gets you any closer

doesn’t even exist. And the rest of the verses are all mixed up. What you’ve got between the album’s track and the demo is the difference between a song with some hooky lyrics, and an actual story.

She leads you up, points out skylines and steeple chases,
All lace in secret places she moves you to touch with her hand.
The city longs well for water and conversation, rooftops and invitations to stay for the night, in her bed
Under the cool sheets where the welcome touch of skin and skin will meet.
Hot on the inside where the girl’s prize is at the tip of your tongue.
Sweet, and pure, and longing for your deep embrace.

You’ve listened to both tracks. How much hotter and more soulful is the demo? It’s not even close, right? “Rooftops and Invitations” the album track is a song that I wouldn’t skip on a shuffle. “Rooftops and Invitations” the demo is a song that’s been burning a hole in my iPod for the past week. And I’ve been operating with only one working earphone!

That’s why being a demo fiend is such a double-edged sword. Yeah, sometimes, you find a gem like this one. But then you realize you live in a world where Chris Carrabba thinks a great song needs to be made worse to make it onto his album. Kinda sad.

Blair reveals herself to be a pathetic wank; good thing Chuck is around to prop her up! Lily returns to cast a sopping blanket over Serena’s plan to . . . I dunno, find herself? Elanor is nowhere to be seen, and Dan continues to be the Mack Daddy of NYU. All in all, an entertaining little breather before what promises to be some absolute havoc wrought by Ms. Georgina Sparks. On with the diary!

9:01 Jenny, in a Gossip Girl episode. How novel!

Is this official now? Gossip Girl is now stalking NYU instead of high school kids? Fine by me.

They’re arguing about Battlecat! I used to have a Battlecat action figure, but it was more like a statue, since it had absolutely no articulation whatsoever. Very hard to play with. Also, that girl with the glasses is WAY too cute to be in a He-Man club.

Also, did I ever tell you that when I was the archery director at Camp Lewis, I had this giant tent in my area, which I put over the firing line, so as to facilitate shooting even on rainy days. Because I had this structure, I called the whole place “Castle Greyskull.” It went completely over the heads of ever eight-year-old in my charge. Oh well.

9:04 Is this “Jenny taking down the hierarchy” business going to be a communist metaphor?

Also, I can’t lie. I can get into all the punk rock vests and dark eyeliner. Please don’t ruin this, Jenny.

9:05 Gossip Girl, starring Blake Lively’s Breasts.

9:06 If you’re going to assume a pseudonym at college, is there a better name than Kate? Maybe Cait, I suppose.

9:07 “I don’t know who I am.” Serena, you idiot. Your mother is right. What kind of job are you going to get?

Everybody loves Blair as a character, but you know what? She’s kind of pathetic. And I know that’s the storyline, and I find it to be compelling, but let’s not pretend she’s not a sad individual.

Do you think Hillary Duff actually likes the Mets?

9:14 The Tory Burch woman said “You came highly recommended by Anna Wintour.” I know who that is; which means it’s a lame and weak reference for GG.

Serena is kind of sad and pathetic too. She knows all the back exits? Blech!

Being a flunky for a publicist is the EXACT line of slimy work that Serena would be perfect for. How serendipitous.

9:17 Perestroika! See?

When that text message says “Larry King called” they mean like, “Larry King’s producer,” right?

9:19 Tyra’s shrew of a character is named Ursula. Like from The Little Mermaid. Is that a reference that kids still understand?

9:27 “Sharing wisdom is what college is all about.” Gag, Dan! Also, lest we forget that Hillary Duff just blew off an interview on the Larry King Show. Would that ever happen in real life? And is she going to blow off the PREMIER OF HER MOVIE for Dan effing Humphrey? I’m a zealous Dan partisan, but even I think that’s beyond a reasonable suspension of disbelief.

“Blair’s gone Colonel Kurtz.” Bravo, chuck.

9:34 OMGBSE? Not cool.

Also, lest we forget that Chuck tried to rape Jenny in season 1. Bygones, I suppose?

Also, did Blair call Dorota a cipka? Inappropriate!

9:47 I like Hillary Duff’s earrings. Sorry for forgetting to write down her character’s name earlier. I’m lost.

Oh. It’s Olivia.

Dan is kind of a sieve. Drama shmama, it’s Hillary Duff! Suck it up!

9:52 Lily is sort of right; no one knows who they are. But I guess Serena might need to learn that the hard way. If only there were some means for us to know how Lily dealt with this portion of her own life . . .

“We must cultivate our garden.” This is a great episode for English major references!

Also, does anyone else think it’s funny that all of the sweet and precious moments between Chuck and Blair involve some sort of sexual perversity?

“Dumbo could always fly,” goes Chuck. My favorite Disney movie! He is positively ON FIRE tonight.

9:58 This ending just gave me diabetes.

Most of these “Music is my imaginary friend” posts are just me passing along songs that I like, and that I hope you’ll like too. But sometimes, they offer a window into the mind of your favorite blogger.

When I was 10, I desperately wanted the Spider-Man “Maximum Carnage” video game for Sega Genesis. It was rated MA, which is like, the most violent, so I had to haggle and bargain with my mom to get her to buy it for me. So that summer, I wound up painting the foundation to the house, and the garage. It was onerous and back-breaking labor for a 10-year-old, but I did it.

It was worth every second. “Maximum Carnage” was awesome! You could play as Venom! I probably played it as much as any other video game I ever owned. (I may have played Sonic 3 more, but that’s because that was the greatest video game ever made. Yeah, I said it.) A big part of the appeal was the awesome metal soundtrack, by the band Green Jelly (formerly Green Jello.) Below is the intro to the game, followed by the actual Green Jelly track. If there’s a more intense pump-up track for a game, I’ve never heard it.

If you ever want to endeavor to know what it’s like to live inside my head, you’ll listen to these.