Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun

My roommate just closed the windows because it was too chilly in the living room. And then I sorta smelled that old, warm, familiar smell. The heat had turned on. Which means it’s that time of year, precious readers: the nights are getting cooler, and the first completely absurd subplot of the Gossip Girl season is starting to materialize. On with the diary!

:01 Oh fucking great. The C-Dub is doing that thing again, where the music soundtrack is way louder than the speaking soundtrack. So now I have the volume all jacked up just to get the faintest hint of dialogue. What gives!

Also, Serena, choosing between Dan and Nate is not like choosing between a napoleon and an éclair. You pick the éclair! And the éclair is Dan!

:03 My friend makes a good point. Chuck is writing the Empire checks himself? Can’t he hire like, a business manager? Isn’t that what bosses do?

“The life of Serena van der Woodsen is like the most complicated Jane Austen novel ever.” That’s the kind of talk that would tip off a non-idiot that this woman is up to something. Good thing for the plot that Nate is a moron.

:06 ZOMG! LOOK AT THE HAT LITTLE MILO IS WEARING! I JUST GOT DIABETES!

:08 Dan, w/r/t to Serena going to Columbia: “I’m just surprised she didn’t say anything to me about it.” Why does this surprise him? I know it would require different plots, but would it kill these characters to act like this isn’t still season 1, episode 1?

I feel like a broken record. Nate doesn’t even KNOW this “Juliet Sharp” woman, but he’s gonna let her drive a wedge between him and Dan? I hope the writers aren’t expecting us to think that “Juliet” is some master manipulator along the lines of Jack Bass or something. Look at who she’s dealing with!

:14 Serena: I went to the morgue today. Blair: What is that, a sex club? Pwned!

:16 Chuck’s blonde friend has been in something. Wait, wait, don’t tell me . . .

:17 Lily has a good point here. Dan has been over there in Brooklyn raising this child, while she and Rufus have been loafing about the UES. What a buncha peaches, eh?

:21 Hmm . . . Chuck’s, I mean Henry’s, friend has been in the Harry Potter movies? Shrug?

:26 I mean, it wouldn’t be HORRIBLE for Dan and V to get back together. But still! Not because of some scheme from some rando!

:28 Eew, did Dan and Vanessa do it with the baby in the next room? Is that what like, people with babies do?

:31 I know Blair leaving her Blackberry at the apartment, so she doesn’t have to deal with texts from Serena, is supposed to be a symbolic gesture, but of all the things that have happened in this episode, that was the thing that required the most tenacious suspension of belief. How can you not have your phone on you! My phone is only a room and a half away, and I’m kinda getting the willies with it being that far from me.

:34 Did you see this Accuvue commercial? With the girl who’s trying to work up the courage to ask out a cute boy? And the whole point of the commercial is that she has to get rid of her glasses in order to do it? This is an attitude that must be fought! Enough of this “boys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses” garbage. Wear your glasses, ladies! Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun promises to make a pass at you

:37 Nate: “Oh man, my web of deception blew up in my face again. Well, lesson learned. I’ll never stab my friends in the back ever again!” What, he didn’t say that when Dan discovered the text from Serena he never saw because Nate was snooping around? My bad.

:43 This is the life, eh? Drinking some cold brew dogs on the roof while your stepmom takes care of your bastard child.

:45 Has Serena really been wearing this absurd sparkle jacket the entire episode?

:47 I haven’t really thought about it, but they would never take Chuck away from us, right? Like, this isn’t even an option?

:48 Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn’t come back. B: That’s true. But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it. Hold on. I got a piece of dust in my eye. Both eyes.

:54 You know, watching Serena see all of these people, and the baby, show up in Rufus’s living room really drives home how absurd this series of plots has been.

:56 The closest thing Rufus has to medical training is Lincoln Hawk getting a song on Chicago Hope! The 90s!

:57 Ok, guys, who is “Juliet” working for? Georgina? Poppy Lifton? Jack?

Tags: Gossip Girl, ooh la la creme, running diary, The Greatest Show of Our Time, TV

This entry was posted on Monday, September 20th, 2010 at 11:28 pm and is filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.