Archive for February, 2011
Regular readers of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun know that in addition to being one of the cleverest and most handsome bloggers on the Internet, I’m also a writer for Boston College Magazine. The Winter 2011 issue just came out, and I’ve got a few stories that I would recommend that you read. Here’s a bit I did about BC’s club hockey team, which in five years went from not existing to being one of the top club teams in the country. Here’s a rundown of a few professors in BC’s Lynch School of Education doing research projects sponsored by the National Science Foundation.
There’s also a couple non-Timmy stories that are really excellent. This piece is about Solasta, an energy startup founded by a group of BC physicists based on a revolutionary nanoscale solar cell they developed. The company eventually failed, but there are a lot of great lessons about the competing priorities of research scientists and the venture capitalists who fund much of that research. Finally, this is a piece about the research of Martin Summers, a history professor who has studied how mental the mentally ill were classified differently based on their race in hospitals in the 19th century. It’s a great ish, even if you have no interest in anything related to Boston College.
But what? Harvard could fill three whole classes from its pile of rejected applications. And, Yale and Stanford notwithstanding, it had two big competitors following its lead. So what gives? I wonder . . .
Intro shmintro, I say. Let’s get right down to it!
:00 Oh, I get it. Dan sees Ben as like, the older, better educated, hardened-by-time-in-the-clink version of himself. He’s jealous!
:03 Blair is addicted to workahol.
:04 Sorry, dearest readers. I was eating soup for dinner. It’s not good for paying attention and typing!
:05 Chuck: “Your Archibald charm can get me the opening I need.” I wouldn’t trust Nate to do my dishes, let alone carry out a scheme.
Have fun getting on the board of an opera, Blair. I’m sure you’re among the most qualified candidates.
:09 I see what Chuck and Lily are doing. They’re gonna use, uh, Russell Thorpe’s hubris against him. Sure. That’s how they beat the mad Titan, Thanos.
:13 Serena to Ben, after she concocted a harebrained scheme to thwart Damien’s drug deal: “I can’t believe you’re not taking the side of the woman that ruined your life.” Ok, she didn’t say exactly that. But her look said it at all!
:17 Blair: “Who doesn’t love czars and Cossacks?” This is an excellent question.
Dan, after Serena and Eric proposition Blair to help with their scheme: “I’m leaving. This is going from Woman on the Verge to Saw 2. I don’t like gore porn.” Ha!
:18 Oh, I see what’s gonna happen here. Rena is going to fall in love with Nate. Because of his charms!
:20 Three years ago, if you had told me, “Timmy, in three years, you’re going to be DELIGHTED by Dan and Blair’s thinly veiled flirtation,” I would have said, “Wait, I’m going to be live-blogging GG eps? That seems like a tremendous waste of time.
:27 Remember Rufus? Me neither.
:28 Yeah, lily knows exactly what’s going on with the Dodgers and the McCourts.
:30 Oh, we’re calling Eric “E” now. I can dig that. Although I vaguely remember being against that sort of thing in the past? Can someone check up on that?
:33 S: “Blair, what were you thinking?”
B: “That I would arrive at this party, and be greeted appropriately . . .” Ha!
:35 Oh, I see. Chuck is going to try to get Thorpe’s backer to switch sides, and then Damien is going to tell everyone that Lily is a criminal. I know this is true, because it’s the second half of the episode and everyone is at the same party.
Lily to Eric as he’s searching for his trust fund checkbook. “Do you realize how gauche it is to open gifts at a party before dessert?” This elicited a legitimate LOL.
:47 Yes, Vanessa, you’re an outsider. Finally, someone realizes that their actions have consequences on this show.
:49 “Friends are the fashion fundamentals.” Oh, Dan. What a sweetheart!
:51 Oooh. I LIKE Dark Ben. I wonder what his prison nickname was. The Professor? Doctor Doom? The Bard Behind Bars? Also, what the hell could Vanessa possibly do in this situation?
:56 Are Dan and Blair gonna make out?
:59 Hmm. I guess not. Also, I should have known that a real criminal like Damien wouldn’t be spooked by a milquetoast weenie like Ben. Duh!
Well, shameless self-promotion is probably the wrong term, considering that 1) I didn’t really have much to do with this thing, except maybe chiming in with my two cents once while everyone else in my office did all the work, and B) if I did actually have anything to do with it, I’d actually be kinda proud. No shame involved!
Anyway, this is Zingers, a Boston College Video Minute produced by the folks in my office. It features punchlines from Rooftop Comedy’s National College Stand-up Competition at BC. It’s pretty funny!
Gossip Girl almost had a stroke watching the tying goal go in with a minute and half left in regulation
So here’s the good news. Your Eagles of The Boston College won the 2011 Beanpot tournament, besting the Northeastern Huskies 7–6 in overtime. The bad news is, cheering on my beloved Eagles prevented me from watching Gossip Girl for a second week in a row. But here’s the good news. I watched the ep on my Tivo and recorded my thoughts, because you’re my readers, and I love you. For your reference, I started the recording at 8:30, and didn’t fast forward through the commercials, so as to maintain the chronology of the show. Because that’s important!
:30 :30 = :00 here, folks.
Blair is wearing a blazer that prince would wear to a job interview.
:33 Ben isn’t fit to set pins in a bowling alley. But he’s gonna wind up getting a sweet job for plot purposes.
:35 I love when people have jobs on TV shows. If Character X can achieve Unthinkable Goal Y, then Promotion Z will be theirs!
:37 “The Bass name has equity. I plan to prove that all in one night.” See my note for minute 35.
Also, we’re supposed to note than Russell Thorpe called Chuck “Bart,” right?
:43 Serena has no idea that it’s actually like, difficult for ex-cons to get jobs. So Ben has to feel ashamed for “only” getting a part-time gig at a catering service. What an idiot. Both of them.
:44 “I was copied on a report I wasn’t supposed to see.” The Captain, recipient of this episode’s deus ex memorandum.
:48 “Obviously I don’t have time to read faux-ticles by wannabe writers.” What a jerk Blair is.
Also, Dan writes a first-person narrative about living with his ex girlfriend’s current boyfriend, and he thinks he can get it into Details? Because the Dan Humphrey brand is just so damn potent.
:54 Dan advises Eric to invite Jonathan to Chuck’s party. Because this is Gossip Girl, and everyone has to end up well-dressed at the same event.
:59 Is Lily going to finally get her comeuppance? You guys know how much I love comeuppance!
:03 All of Chuck’s money-making schemes are some iteration of “So I’m planning this bacchanalia…”
:07 I get in fights with my friends sometimes. But I can’t imagine trying to ruin their lives as many times as Blair and Serena have in this show’s tenure.
:09 What did Chuck think was going to happen here, getting rid of Lily? He’s 19 years old! Russell Thorpe eats 19-year-olds for breakfast.
:16 Yes! Dan and Blair are gonna do it! In Chuck’s love chamber!
:17 Or not. Whatevs. But does Raina need a primer on what a vile scoundrel Lily is? And how she’s not deserving of Chuck’s loyalty? I’ve got some GG DVDs she can watch if that’s the case.
:23 Blair to Serena: “Go have fun with your parolee.” Even when she’s being nice, Blair knows exactly how to put people in their place.
Oh, so now Dan’s piece is going to be in Vanity Fair. Fucking wonderful.
:26 Dan and Blair, watching a movie together but separately! Also, that camera angle makes Lonely Boy look like he’s jackin’ it.
:27 Can we get more of Eric’s foxy Meals on Wheels partner?
Hmm. So they’re turning Damien into an actual real bad guy. I can dig it.
Like a lot of art forms that have developed in the course of American history, one of the major motifs of emo and pop-punk music is California. The Grapes of Wrath–esque idealization of the Golden State, the eventual disappointment when California fails to live up to the ideal, the longing for lost loves who have gone west—it’s all there. In fact, it’s a favorite pastime of myself and the Official Bandmate of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun to come up with new tunes to put on the “Another Song about California” playlist. There’s a lot of them!
Welp, my pal Theresa, a loyal reader of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun, is moving out to California this weekend, and to send her off, I present my favorite song from that playlist. Good luck, Tstorm.
No Gossip Girl post tonight, precious readers. Sometimes, something more important comes up. It’s rare, but it happens. Tonight is the first night of the Beanpot tournament, and my beloved Boston College Eagles are facing off against their ancient enemies, the terriers of boston university.
I was ready to write this long, poetic essay about the beauty of college hockey and the thrill of rivalry, but the puck just dropped, and you all know how my heart is just a roiling cauldron of hatred for bu. It fuels me.
Under the measure, taxpayers could choose to have whatever portion of their state taxes pays for abortions or abortion counseling for low-income women directed instead to a public information campaign for the Baby Safe Haven Law, which allows parents to drop off unwanted newborns at police or fire stations and hospitals.
Massachusetts Citizens for Life President Anne Fox said the bill would give residents who oppose abortion a way of exercising their conscience. She said the group was still working out details of how such a law might be implemented.
Go ahead and read this story. The funniest part is the bit that talks about the gains Republicans have made in the Massachusetts House of Representatives. They now hold 31 whole seats! That’s almost 20 percent!
I won’t go into all of the blazingly obvious reasons why allowing people to earmark their taxes for pet purposes is a dreadful idea. Instead, I’ll list a few ways that people who oppose abortion rights can exercise their consciences. These tactics have the added bonus of actually existing, and don’t require silly, pointless little legislative antics:
- Don’t have an abortion.
- Vote for anti-abortion-rights political candidates.
- Donate money to anti-abortion-rights political candidates.
- Donate money to anti-abortion-rights causes.
- Protest abortion providers.
And, finally, for the morally bankrupt anti-abortion-rights zealot for whom the usual avenues of activism won’t suffice and for whom the thought of even a penny of hard-earned money going toward financing abortions:
- Grow a fucking spine and just don’t pay your fucking taxes.
Christ on a bike, these ghouls need to get a life.
You ever have one of those stretches when everything that everyone says, does, and thinks just irrationally irritates you? I’m in a funk, dearest readers! What’s a young, handsome, witty, talented writer to do? I don’t know. Maybe Gossip Girl can provide some answers!
:01 I like this sweater dress thing that Serena is wearing.
:02 Dan wants to be around writing, at a fashion magazine! Everyone knows people read those things for the ads. And the smelly perfume inserts.
It’s totally befitting a weenie like Ben to work at an organic farm in upstate New York. Good riddance. Remember, precious readers, he’s the one that let Juliet off the leash. He’s the Sal Maroni to Juliet’s Joker, and we all know what happened to “The Boss.”
S: “Ithaca is supposed to be . . . beautiful.” So was that the GG writers not going after the low hanging fruit, or them acknowledging that S is too dumb to say “gorgeous.”
:06 So wait, Serena is pissed off at Damien, but she let Juliet completely off the hook? This is nonsense!
:08 Blair Waldorf and Lyla Garrity in a movie. Hellooooooo, nurse.
:12 Eric and Damien. Hmmm. . .
:13 Dan, doing something special for the W blog. Finally, some perks for a writer!
Dan to Blair: “I didn’t date Serena van der Woodsen for two years and not come away knowing that those are Mark Jacobs, and they’re mustard.”
Hey, remember Rufus’s gallery/coffee bar? Those were the days.
:17 The Captain: “Hey Chuck!” This line made me laugh out loud!
Blair to Dan: “And you do realize that I know everyone personally, right?” These two! Get these two a spinoff!
:19 Ben’s note: “I don’t need your blood money to stay away. I’ll stay away for free.” Wasn’t he a literature professor? That’s the best he can do for a righteously indignant missive? No bon mots? No cutting rejoinders? Cmon!
:24 Eric: “Mom paid someone off again. We should make this a drinking game.” That’s what I’m talking about when I’m talking about bon mots! I wish Ben were around to see this!
:26 So Chuck wants Thorpe’s daughter to fire the captain? Way to ruin your best friend’s life!
Blair, on the W interns: “All the other girls are variations on a theme, and the theme is lesser versions of me.”
S to Blair: “You have scheming in your voice. You can’t sabotage him!”
:31 Ah, so Dan and Blair are sabotaging each other. Good to see Dan hasn’t learned that mixing it up with Blair always ends in despair.
Also, they’re calling Dan “D” now? That’s stupid. He’ll always be Lonely Boy to me.
:34 I love the way Lily’s son talks to lily’s husband about lily. What’s up with these people?
:36 Poor Jonathan. He deserves better!
:38 The things I always wonder about this show is, is Stuart Fuji actually a guy in the film business that got a quick grip and grin on GG, or is he just a made-up flunkie? I suppose I could use teh Google, but whatevs.
:45 Nate, the Captain has a point here. “I think I’d rather live in a halfway house than with someone who halfway trusts me.” What he lacks in wit he makes up for in earnestness!
:48 So when Eric says Damien is a good distraction, is he talking about his fake relationship with Damien, or his real drug use?
Don’t you think it’s funny that Serena’s brother accuses her of caring more about Ben than her family, and then when her stepdad comes over to try to talk about her family, she runs away to go find Ben. Serena is truly the worst.
:53 So is Serena gonna take Blair’s advice and chase after Ben? This is preposterous. She’s awful.
:55 The Captain to Thorpe: “Whatever you need, I’m your guy.” We all know what that means!
Chuck isn’t thinking with his wang here. He’s got a plan. Right?
:58 Ooooh, dark Ben. I kinda like this.
I’m gonna have a hard time accepting Damien as a villain, especially since there was absolutely no resolution with Juliet. Do you hear me, writers?!
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