I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
I emerged from the subway this evening to see the last rays of the setting sun reflect off the spire of the Old North Church; it wasn’t yet seven o’clock. I was already imagining the days, not far off, when I would step out of the dark underground and be greeted only by more darkness. I walked home under the pallid lamps of Government Center, their wan, orange glow grotesque compared even to the languid remains of the sunlight. A few tourists still roamed Faneuil Hall, shuffling aimlessly, visibly affected by the swiftly vanishing daylight, desperately grasping at the final traces of summer, a season that, much like sand, and love, slips more rapidly through one’s fingers the tighter one tries to hold it.
Although the thermometer persists in thumbing its nose at grim reality, the fact remains that autumn, a grim season of all-too-brief splendor followed by inexorable decay, is upon us. Every leaf that falls is another page off the calendar, another season growing ever smaller in the rear view mirror until its very memory grows indistinct before it, like all the seasons before, fades away like mist. Perhaps the cruelest of autumn’s somber portents is its reminder that summer’s warmth and cheer are illusory. It’s fall, a season that ends, like every life, in death, that is the truest metaphor for our own existence.
And yet, there remains reason for optimism. After all, if it’s autumn, that means Gossip Girl is back. Consequently, the Gossip Girl Diary is back, too! When last we left the gang, Serena had fallen ass backwards into a job on a movie set, Blair was running off with the prince of Monaco, Vanessa was surreptitiously selling Dan’s stolen manuscript, and Nate and Chuck were being Nate and Chuck. I couldn’t be more overjoyed for Gossip Girl to be back, precious readers. Let’s have some adventures!
8:00 I still think it’s dumb that Blair ran off with Prince Louis. They don’t know each other! Also, good thing I looked up when this ep started. I was assuming it was 9!
8:01 I tried reading The Beautiful and Damned one time, but the book was too smile and it was hard to read. Like, it hurt my hands AND my eyes.
8:02 The big gold pendant on Serena’s necklace looks kinda like the Stonecutter’s symbol. How shall we parse this?
8:04 Dan is on an artists and writers softball team? I hope there’s a mercy rule in that league.
Chuck: “If you hear anything crazy, it means I’m doing something right.” I felt so clean and wholesome during the summer. I feel Chuck’s sliminess through the screen. And the TV isn’t even high-def!
8:06 Eleanor: “Our guests will be sitting longer than a Terrence Mallick movie!” This is actually true, I saw Tree of Life. It was long!
Chuck is pursuing an all-yes strategy. Is he taking cues from Dennis Reynolds?
8:10 Blair on wedding planning: “I’ve already lost on the food, the flowers, and the font. A typeface joke! With alliteration!
Poor Dorota. I bet she hates herself for understanding the nonsense cadence and diction of Gossip Girl blasts.
8:14 Blair to Serena: “Stop being so rational and trying to see both sides. . . . Hand me downs are for charity and younger children, not the bride on her wedding day.” I’ll say it every week: I wish real people talked like Blair. Also, Serena’s advice to go along with wearing Sophie’s dress is actually very clever and astute.
8:17 Need I remind you all that Dan is still in college, but he’s already been published in the New Yorker and is about to be published in Vanity Fair. I didn’t even READ those magazines at his age. (Bonus comment: If Graydon Carter ever in his life ever sat down and read an anonymous short story submission for possible inclusion in his magazine, I’ll eat my hat.)
8:20 Jumping off a building and then asking out the student coordinator before he has a chance to catch his breath? I could get used to Chuck Bass as Indiana Jones.
8:26 Nate: “Sometimes I wish I could just reinvent myself.” Way to introduce your own plotline, Nate! Thanks for the signpost.
Eleanor: “Testing a good man who loves you never ends well.” Listen to your mother, Blair. She’s wiser than you ever will be. It’s GG! You know he’ll somehow fail the test!
8:28 Classic Gossip Girlian antics. Dan compels Louis to do something (quash the anonymous and inflammatory short story) in his own and Blair’s best interest, causing him to let Blair down, but it’s the type of thing that has to be kept a secret, so Blair will get pissed at him, imperiling the entire wedding.
8:33 Ah. Marshall sabotaged Serena by getting her to buy weed for the star. I guess I’m still too dumb to not see the new guy for what he always is: a villain. I’m too naïve and trusting for this show!
8:35 . . . but at least I saw this Blair and Louis thing as it materialized.
8:37 Who could have predicted that Dan would ever say to blair “Of course I am [your friend]”?
8:44 This stunt lady has already recognized Chuck’s dark past. It’s been what, a day? That’s a new record!
Nate: “And you are?”
Elizabeth Hurley: “Done now.” Ding ding!
8:45 Shorter Marshall: I tried to fuck you over because I have student loans. Christ, what an asshole.
8:48 I’m not really as enthusiastic about a Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots movie as I would have been when I was like, six.
And I love Rachel Bilson, but I dunno if I’ll be watching her new show. I need to uh, polish my Gossip Girl notes.
8:52 Chuck Bass: “People like me don’t write books. We’re written about.” Bravo, Chuck. Bravo.
8:53 Does Dorota really need to read What to Expect When You’re Expecting? Doesn’t she already know?
8:54 So Jane gave Serena a bunch more tasks. Does that mean that Marshall lost his job? Because even though he’s a bit of a juicebox, his bit about Serena not needing the job was kind of persuasive and sympathetic.
8:56 Nobody could have predicted that Vanessa taking well-intentioned but unilateral action on Dan’s novel would have unintended negative consequences.
8:59 Charlie could really use some comeuppance. Can’t wait for that!
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