Posts Tagged ‘hopefully this effing choke artist Cliff Lee just cost himself a few million on his next mercenary contract but probably not’
A dear friend of mine informed me the other day that she heard the Juliet storyline is going to carry on into the spring. Which would be fine, if they would just tell us what the hell is going on! Let’s see if any light is shed on the sitch this week, shall we?
:01 Serena, after hearing Colin is descended from lobstermen: “I love The Deadliest Catch.” Those are crabs, you fool!
If not having sex for a few weeks caused swelling violins and echo-y voices in your head, the soundtrack of my life would be 68 Haydn string quartets on a continuous loop from the bottom of Carlsbad Caverns.
:04 Rufus, on why he and Lily will be celebrating their anniversary alone: “Jenny has a big test she has to study for and she can’t make it back to the city. It doesn’t feel right having a family celebration without her.” How many more times do you have to throw her out of your house before you realize that Jenny is the worst, Rufus?
:06 Chuck, during negotiations with Blair: “You can’t have Fashion Week in Paris and Milan. You have to choose.” Chuck’s tone there was perfect Bass.
Blair, on Serena and her new beau: “You are one macchiato from making the same mistake you always make.” If Serena and Colin having sex before the end of the semester were a company, I would invest my lift savings in it. Good thing it’s not. Because I have no life savings.
:08 Eric is right, Dan. Chuck and Blair will eat you alive.
:13 If there’s anyone you can trust, Serena, it’s the rando that just showed up this season and has already betrayed you and your friends.
Have we ever figured out how Ben is getting e-mails in prison?
:15 Serena’s favorite book is The Beautiful and Damned? If that’s true, I’m a little impressed. I never made it through that one.
:17 Chuck, on Dan’s bungling: “You really don’t know how to stage a run in, do you? Cut to the chase.”
“The intricacies of our war games are too complex for a prole like you to comprehend.” Dan is just getting BURNED this ep.
Juliet: “Some people are such prudes.”
Serena: “Heh. Yeah.” Lol @ this.
“Nate thought he and Humphrey were thick as thieves. Turns out Humphrey’s a thief, and Nate’s just thick.” Ha! Nate IS thick, Gossip Girl.
:24 This is a conversation I was having with the Official Washington Correspondent of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun.
OWCODDU: Here’s what happened
Colin committed some sort of crime
But he is rich
Juliet and her brother are poor!
Timmy: So Ben took the fall?
OWCODDU: Ben took the fall for the crime so that Colin would pay for Juliet’s education!
Timmy: I’m gonna put this in DD&U.
:27 Eleanor, after Blair insulted her dress for the evening: “Actually, dear, I picked it out.” Pwned! Don’t ever talk to Dorota like that again.
:32 Is the dean of Columbia Karen Hayes from 24? (10:28: IMDB says yes!)
Is Blair ever going to find out that that minion betrayed her to chuck?
:34 Dan is all pissed at Nate for hanging out with Serena, because he forgot that he went behind Nate’s back and read Blair and Chuck’s treaty.
:35 Blair, dismissing Serena’s defense of Juliet: “If I want to hear fiction, I’ll go talk to Jonathan Franzen. In fact . . .” I know this is a name-droppy show, but I find it hard to believe that Franzen would go to Blair’s birthday party.
:39 Nate: I just saw something in the kitchen! It must be about me! Allow me to jump to wild conclusions!
Minions, on Rita’s surprise: “A Jack Bass sex tape? A Nelly Yuki snuff film?” Ha!
:42 Haha! Slapstick! Apparently, I’m supposed to know that the woman who got chocolate spilled on her is Rachel Zoe? Who is apparently some kind of stylist?
:47 Colin is a complete squirrelmaster. What is Serena doing with this guy? He makes Tripp Van Der Bilt look like Gerard butler.
:49 Rufus to his kid: “I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m sorry you became one of them.” Pwned!
:52 Is Blair really so concerned about this silly karaoke video?
Speaking of Cyrus, where is he? I miss that guy!
:55 Dan and Vanessa should just do it. Right?
:56 Serena to Colin: “The new me really wants to wait.” How many new Serenas have there been? Half a dozen, right?