Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun

Regular readers of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun understand that I love the Yankees. They're playing the Tigers tonight in the deciding game of the American League Division Series.

Even though the Yanks had the best record in the league this season, and the most championships of any team ever, I'm always pessimistic about their playoff chances. This understandably infuriates fans of other teams.

The Yankees are playing the Tigers. Here's their coach, Jim Leyland.

Yankees starter just gave up back to back home runs in the first inning. Here's a picture of what almost happened here at DD&U HQ.

The Official Philadelphia Correspondent of Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun just asked if A-Rod has been playing this series. It's a credible question! Dude's been absent.

Number 11 is a Gardener. He grows hits. Good thing he bats ninth.

Here is Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun’s official position on Joe Girardi removing Phil Hughes after an inning and a third:

I was saying Boone Logan.

Brett Gardner's foulout with the bases loaded gave me time to draw this pond full of ducks. It's still 2-0 Tigers in the top of the fifth.

CC Sabathia just intentionally walked Miguel Cabrera to put men on first and second with two outs. John Smoltz said that the next batter, Victor Martinez, bats .343 when Cabrera is IBBed, and hence 'comes through more often than not.' Regular doers of math understand that this just isn't true. Of course, Martinez smacked an RBI single, so I guess for baseball purposes, it is.

It's easier to draw pictures of boats than ballplayers. Robbie Canoe just put the Yanks on the board with a solo home run in the bottom of the fifth. 3-1 Tigers.

Raphael Soriano coming into an elimination game in an important spot? I'd better change into my v-neck. #pullscollar

In completely non-baseball-related news, does anyone know what happened to the giant bottle of wine I was drinking?

Tigers reliever Joaquin Benoit: 'What's the problem?'

A short news story, noteworthy only because it involved a spat between two New York sports teams, ignited my imagination today, because it united three of my passions: the Yankees, literature, and poking fun at the Mets for being a bushleague organization.

Here’s the story: PNC Field, the former Lackawanna County Stadium and home to the AAA Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees, is in need of renovations, so the SWB Yankees are in need of a temporary home for the 2012 season while their stadium gets repaired. A perfect location would be Bears & Eagles Riverfront Stadium, home of the Newark Bears. City and team officials were all about it; having the Yankees’ top minor league affiliate in town would attract many more fans than a season of Can-Am League baseball. And Newark is a part of the Yankees’ geographical base, so it would present an opportunity for fans priced out of the big league stadium to get a look at some still pretty good Yankees baseball.

Of course, Newark is also part of the Mets’ geographical base, so they were able to invoke territorial rights to veto the move. I suppose the Amazin’s weren’t interested in having two professional baseball teams in the tri-state that played better than them. Oh well. It would have been nice.

Should the AAA Yankees taken up residence on Broad Street, the Bears would have been forced to play all of their games on the road. I had a nagging feeling that I’d read the story of a displaced team of Newark ballplayers playing a season’s worth of road games before. And amazing but true, I had; in fact, I’d based the concluding chapter of my undergraduate thesis on it. The story is Philip Roth’s The Great American Novel. Here’s Wikipedia’s plot summary: “The Port Ruppert Mundys of New Jersey lease their stadium to the United States Department of War at the beginning of the 1943 season—to be used as a soldiers’ embarkation point—which forces the athletes to play as the league’s first permanent road team.” (There is, obviously, no such place as Port Ruppert. However, comma, remember that the original Newark Bears and the Negro League Newark Eagles played in Ruppert Stadium, named for the Bears’ owner, Jacob Ruppert.) Today’s Newark Bears could have become the real life Port Ruppert Mundys! I know you all probably didn’t write your theses about Philip Roth’s novels, but surely you can get excited about life almost imitating art!

Congratulations to Derek Jeter, America’s Greatest Hero, who just surpassed Lou Gehrig as the all-time Yankees hits leader. I’m a little amazed that for all the great hitters the Yankees have had on their team (I’ll spare you the litany), the franchise hits record stood for more than 70 years. Incredible!