Dangerous, Dirty, and Unfun

The Red Socks beat the Yankees eight times in a row earlier in the season, and it was the biggest thing in history up here. It was unparalleled dominance! The Socks owned the Yanks! Could they sweep the season series? Sure, it wasn’t even the All Star break, but the Yankees were buried!

All the Yankees have done since is cruise through their schedule, and beat the Red Socks 7 out of the last 8 times. No big shakes, though. Sure, the Yankees have the division sewed up. Sure, the Red Socks haven’t really shown any sort of ability to beat the Yankees when they’re playing well, even with the newly acquired slugger Victor Martinez. But it doesn’t matter, you know, because the Red Socks will probably make the playoffs, so these late games against the Yanks aren’t important.

So I was heartened to see the Village Voice’s Crazy Yankee Chick address this issue:

It would be inordinately helpful if Boston could collectively delineate their parameters for “Which Games Count.” If I understand it correctly, the current guidelines dictate that:

1. Any World Series won before 2000 is not relevant and should not be considered in arguments debating the historical success of franchises
2. Steroid use only voids the validity of a title in years outside of 2004 and 2007
3. A division title does not enable fans of title holder to assume superiority
4. Wild Cards and Division Champions possess equal levels of significance
5. In the event of a loss, Boston retains the right to default to inflated payroll accusations and/or invalidating loss on basis of team’s injuries
6. Any close and late hit from Alex Rodriguez shall automatically be stricken from the record in accordance with “ARod sucks in the clutch” bylaws
7. In the event of a save at the hands of Mariano Rivera, the current game’s outcome shall be eclipsed by past blown save incidences
8. In extreme situations, Boston fans may choose to redistribute vested interests, by taking an early withdrawal from the Red Sox 2009 Season account and re-allocating interests into Patriots 2009-2010 Season account
9. Substantiated support is not a prerequisite for “Yankees Suck” contentions
10. These guidelines are subject to change on the sole discretion of Boston advocates

Preach.

Holy smokes. I was subjected to Dennis Eckersley’s unvarnished bias when he filled in for Jerry Remy as a color man for the local Red Socks broadcast earlier this season. Now, when I’m watching the Socks game in Boston, I expect unabashed, baldfaced homerism, and Eck failed to disappoint. However, comma, when I’m watching the national broadcast of the game between the Yankees and the Indians on TBS on a Sunday afternoon, I expect a baseline level of objectivity. You don’t have to sing the Yankees’ praises, but be fair! Eckersley has spent all afternoon absolutely KILLING Phil Hughes. “He doesn’t have any offspeed stuff. His curve doesn’t have any bite. Blah blah blah.” The guy gave up four runs on five hits and a walk in five innings, with six strikeouts. That’s not a terrible game! Listening to the commentary, you’d think he was loading the bases every inning! You can’t tell from the shots in the booth, but I think Eckersley might actually be wearing red socks today.